Hair Today, Hair Tomorrow [Episode 14]

IMG_2427Psst … you don’t have any spare poop lying around do you?

Hair Today, Hair Tomorrow

Greetings my fellow K9’s, l trust and hope this finds you well.

Some of you may know, others most assuredly will not and even more others may well be baffled as to how l write these posts, l mean it’s not like keyboards are built for paws, equally as much as paws are made for keyboards … riiight?

The truth is simpler … l brainwash Dad, l hypnotise him with my remarkable skill of well … hypnosis! “Stare into my eyes Dad, think of nothing!” [not too difficult for him at times, TRUST me on this!!] Ok, ok, Dad helps me, but sometimes he questions my content, with a raised eyebrow and mouthing the word “Really???”

But he said l could have this series, and so l am holding him to that!


Today l wish to discuss the subjects of Moulting and Grooming!

We all do it, we are all guilty of shedding a few pounds of hair per week, and sometimes it’s so much it can resemble a new-born puppy!

Mummy and Dad love to groom me, and l am, well, mm less enthusiastic. I don’t mind the fussy side to grooming where upon l get touched a lot with no brushes, but l actually hate brushes. I think it’s more to do with the fact that they use two brushes on me, and then squirt me with coconut spray! I know coconut spray!! It’s not right, it’s not on!! Mummy loves coconut she says it’s really good for her hair and her skin, and sometimes she scoops out a load from her special jar and rubs it into her head hair! She then smells of coconut until her shower when she washes it off, but it’s good for her scalp and her skin! I don’t mind eating some of the coconut, but that really is where my fascination stops!

Why do l wish or want to smell of coconut, when l could smell more doggy? After all, l am not a coconut l am a dog! I mean it’s bad enough when they wash me, then l lose all my magical smells, my doggy scents are gone! But coconut is the worst!

Anyway to the task at paw.

Grooming and moulting, are the same thing – one is performed by ‘them’ whilst the other is performed by ‘us’, but interestingly enough, we are in essence able to perform both at the same time to make the job by ‘them’, a little more tricky! Remember, we train them; it’s not the other way around. In real terms, let me tell you, l run the roost at home, they only think they do! But it’s actually me, more on that another time, but the same is to be said with regards to the current topics, don’t let them think they are actually doing this for their benefit, they are doing this for your benefit!

These little snippets are to those of us who are not traitors to the cause of Bark Power and don’t like grooming at all! As to those who seemingly enjoy it, then l must ask you … are you really a dog?

1] No Brush Grooming

This is the grooming l love the best, no brushes involved in the task at all. Just hands on by them and lots of it. They are removing surplus hair, and you are being stroked, tickled and more importantly long loved! Encourage them to ‘no brush groom’ you daily. There is a little naughty here, that my two are just catching on to – well Mummy is all too aware of it, but Dad, well as l have explained before, Dad is sometimes a few sandwiches short of a picnic! That is, try and encourage them to perform this in the house, not in the garden where Mummy prefers to carry it out. The obvious reason is that lots of unwanted fur drops off onto the floors meaning more housework by them, meaning cleaner floors for you to dirty up again!

Below Mummy Demonstrating the “No Brush Grooming Technique”


It’s a really lovely comforting experience!IMG_2994I just love it, and it always makes me smile!


2] Self Grooming Moulting

This is performed by you preferably inside the house, it involves you wriggling around all over the floor and removing excess to requirement fur! It is simple to learn. Get on your back and wiggle like your life depends upon it, not to be confused with yesterday’s post of rolling, although admittedly that too does remove surplus fur! This will ensure you of two results;

A] You generate static electricity which is funny, because when they touch you they get a shock!! [Always worth a giggle]

B] Your fur will adhere to the carpets and furniture more, further encouraging more housecleaning … yep, so that is a cleaner house for you to dirty up again.

Now don’t forget, that once this task is complete to always stand firm upright and shake, shake and shake some more, this encourages any fur follicles to completely and utterly leave your body and float around the house voluntarily!

3] Brush Grooming

Struggle against this as much as you can and are able; make it as hard as you can. My two leggeds work as a team sometimes to remove as much fur as possible, but sometimes it does take two of them to maintain composure when performing what should be an easy task!

4] Mucking yourself up!

Yes, this is an absolute must do, make it a priority to at least three times a day ‘dirty and soil yourself’ … now before you ask what do l mean soil yourself am l asking you to do the do? No, l mean where ever and whenever possible roll around in the soil, climb through hedges, wriggle under bushes, roll in fox scat if there is any available, if not improvise with four legged bushy tailed pats or poo! If your two leggeds are going to insist on grooming you – DON’T MAKE IT EASY!!

So there we have the four basic rules to ‘moulting and grooming’ training and management for your two leggeds. The principal to always remember, is this is for your benefit not theirs, so make it as difficult as possible.

Anyway, hopefully that has helped some of you, remember Power to the Bark! Thanks for reading, catch you again soon.

Tootle pip from Doodlepip


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