A Good Nose Job! [Episode 18]

IMG_3156A Nose For Everyone’s Business!

A Good Nose Job!

 

Hello and greetings to my K9 readership …

I trust you are all well and that you are giving your two leggeds the run-around! The fact is most two leggeds need a good bit of exercise and the more exercise they participate in, the healthier they become and the more they should be able to walk you. Well that’s the theory and well, we all know the reality of that eh? Personally l am pretty lucky l usually have two good walks a day, and sometimes l get a bonus round with a third.

Mummy is pretty healthy; you will know that anyway if you are a regular to my adventures, and it’s not that Dad is unhealthy at all, he walks twice a day most days, but he doesn’t do other things like Mummy does or that matter me! A bit of gardening, some composting and l am not sure if the clickitty box clicking is an exercise, but if it isn’t perhaps it should be, his fingers must be pretty strong by now!!!

Anyway, today l wanted to explain to you the importance of having a quality nose, a great muzzle and a top notch forehead. Your head should also be exercised on a regular basis, and l guess some of you may not know that? I think Mummy compliments me on my ability to skilfully use the three together! I say ‘l think’ she compliments me, as far as l can gather they are not insults …

“For goodness sake Doodle that nose of yours is always there!”

“Err hello, l am in the toilet Pip!”

“That’s the shopping, get out of it!”

“Blimey Doodle, is there anything you can’t smell?”

“Mm, some privacy would be nice!”

“Ouch, you head-butted me with that whacking great conk of yours pooch!!”

“Alright already, l am fussing you!!”

A well-heeled nose is a dogs’ greatest asset, as is the muzzle and your head, all three together make for a mighty weapon! Together they can win and rue the day as well as manipulate, intimidate, ruminate, agitate, correlate, speculate, sedate, predate, advocate, desecrate, contemplate, confiscate, complicate, excavate and interrogate!

They can do a lot more than the few mentioned, however the point my fellow K9’s being made, is DO not write off the three combined as merely just your head!! Because in the right paws, you will rule your household!

You mustn’t ever forget a few principal factors that your two leggeds often overlook!

1] Our sense of smell is not just keen, it is extraordinarily remarkable!! We can smell up to 100,000 times better than they can! The perspective of that alone is comparable to this – we can sniff out a scent as small as a single dice from a football pitch!! My Dad has a pretty astute sense of smell, but he can’t do that!

Jip Quote below: [Dog] The Story of Doctor Doolittle 1920 – Hugh Lofting

[“Bricks,” he whispered, very low—”old yellow bricks, crumbling with age in a garden–wall; the sweet breath of young cows standing in a mountain–stream; the lead roof of a dove–cote—or perhaps a granary—with the mid–day sun on it; black kid gloves lying in a bureau–drawer of walnut–wood; a dusty road with a horses’ drinking–trough beneath the sycamores; little mushrooms bursting through the rotting leaves; and—and—and—”]

2] Our noses enable us – l could say more than that line alone, but it’s true – our noses enable us! For the reticent amongst you, our noses can tell another dog’s health as well as a two leggeds, detect food, detect hidden poops and avoid predators!

3] Each of our nostrils can smell as a single nostril, so we can have double the ability to smell a slight scent!

4] Our noses have the incredible ability to both breathe in and out at the same time!!! I know LIKE how cool is that??

5] Our noses are designed in a superior fashion to that of the two leggeds that says a lot about who actually is Master and Servant l feel eh? We have up to 300 million olfactory receptors!! 300 hundred million in comparison to the two leggeds – get ready to laugh – 6 million!!

My nose is pretty good, because my muzzle gives me a longer face, l am also of the type of dog breed that needed a pretty keen sense of smell, say in example to some of my shorter faced cousins, however – don’t lose heart or confidence, your sense is still sharper than your furless parents!

So when you combine your sense of smell with your snout and your head, you become a formidable beast!

Your two leggeds may at times not realise just how important you are in the household, so it is your job in addition to your HST role to remind them of this!

IMG_3158

 

1] No such thing as privacy when you are family!

Use your nose, snout and head to barge through doors irrelevant to what may be going on behind them!

2] ALWAYS use your nose, snout and head to make your presence felt!

3] Always use the perfect combo for insisting upon the proper amount of fuss time from parents!

4] Remind your parents when it is Walkies time – our noses are capable of sensing time changes and as the day gets older!

5] ALWAYS investigate all the shopping bags just in case there is an enemy lurking within! Leave nothing unturned!

6] Remind them who is the boss of the house, by nudging at inappropriate times and body locations!

7] Sniff out everything about them and if available – House guests at seriously inappropriate moments!

8] Always smell crotches, It’s to ensure good health is present.

9] Always smell …

Armpits, mouths, other dog’s bums, shoes, and rubbish bins … actually the list is endless! When out and about on your walk sniff and smell everything you can, as this encourages your sense of wellbeing to develop. Take as long as you desire to smell the intricate beauties of the grass, bushes, flowers, poop, wee spots, pavements, sidewalks, fire hydrants, telegraph poles … but remember to TAKE as long as you can, because the two leggeds must always know their position and understand that this time, these precious treasures are doggy moments!

Each walk strengthens your nose, your muzzle and your head combined, so you must where and when you can exercise your sniffing and smelling rights. Also when inside your home, learn to use your snout and head more by pushing open doors, rummaging through bags, poking people’s crotches and generally utilising any advantage to your favour that requires a skilled upward thrust of your head ensuring that it comes into contact with any two legged body parts – l find the softer the better. Dad has learned to be upstanding when l am near, whilst Mummy, well Mummy has had her chin, nose and head whacked many a time!

Anyway, what l want you all to do is practice these new manoeuvres to perfection, till your nose, snout and head think as one and not three separate doggy parts or worse not at all. You can let me know how well things are working out for you another time!

But for now, well you all know by now surely..

“Tootle pip from Doodlepip!”

IMG_3170Ps: Next Time l want to tell you about my Dad and Cows!!

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