Rifle Range Sea Wall Defences, Kingsdown
Mad as a Hatter vs. Dumb as a Box Of Frogs!
Dad thinks l am mad as a hatter apparently, which is a little rich coming from him l think! I mean what does that even mean? Mad as a Hatter?? What is a Hatter anyway? I know what a hat is, but is a hatter two or three hats together, and why is a hat times three mad? Does Dad mean that l am cross with the hatter? Or does he mean that l am cross as a hatter? It was very confusing, so l had to sneakily ask Mummy what it meant. Well, l was a little shocked l can tell you when she explained exactly what Dad was implying!! He was referring to me being of an unsound mind, which is just not on! So l had to take to the researching with Mummy on her laptop to try and get to the bottom of this spurious claim of his!
This is NOT Madness, l am a finely tuned K9 dawg. My tail acts as my astutely aware antenna!
However, you may wish to ask of me why this has actually come around as a query? Perfectly reasonable question to ask l say, and because it is, l will answer it. Not far from where we live is a walk, that Mummy and Dad call the rifle range. It is an old military camp that is on the coast and used to be used by the Royal Marines during World War 2, but the Ministry of Defence had built concrete sea defences there, and you may have seen these in some of Dad’s clickitty’s.
It is no longer used by them, and is now open to both 2 leggeds and 4 legged dawgs like me to walk, play, discover and adventure in! Inside there are mounds, and pebbles, and walls and paths and grass and long hilly grass over mounds which are home to all sorts of possibles! I do say ‘possibles’ because l haven’t actually found anything living there … YET but l will one day, and until then it needs to be examined and re-examined and thoroughly searched! But there are all sorts of smells there, like small furry things to big furry things or what Dad calls mammals such as “rabbits and voles and mice!”
I reeeeally love voles and mice, but it has been a very long time since l caught any and Mummy and Dad don’t like me catching them. Although a very long time ago l used to be a skilled ‘ratter!’ Which does now make me think why Dad would want me to catch Hatters? Is there a connection between hatters and ratters?
In the grass on the mound where l am exploring, the grass is really long and there are lots of really interesting smells, and l tend to pace up and down repeatedly in the hope or even remote glimmer that l might see something! But so far l haven’t sadly!!
There be varmints here … l know it!! I know it!!
They’re here honestly Dad, they are!
They just need to be rooted out!
Mummy says that when l am exploring l remind her of a helicopter taking off [l know whatever that actually is], because my tail spins around and Dad then says like that girls head in the film, which again means nothing to me! What film? What girl? Why does her head spin like my tail?? Why, why, why, why do 2 leggeds talk in such a confusing manner??
So then Mummy and l looked at other things that needed to be addressed such as what is it with this ‘Hatter?’ Why is he mad or cross or is he mad and cross or just not either of them?? It turns out that the phrase Mad as a Hatter is used to describe someone as l said that is not right in their mind. Although there is The Mad Hatter in a book called Alice in Wonderland as well, although he is really just called The Hatter and not so much The Mad Hatter. But more impressively is that the term “Mad as a Hatter” may in fact be closely tied to some truth!
Suggesting that those 2 leggeds that actually made Hats, were subjected to vapours from mercury with certain hat making procedures which could in fact turn them quite mad!!
How astonishing is that??
More impressively Mummy said that in truth Wonderlands’ Hatter was mostly just wacky, perhaps eccentric and of course absolutely perplexing just like Dad! That he should be careful calling dawgs Mad as Hatters because at times he comes across as dumb as a box of frogs!
Ooh l said to Mummy really? I mean my Dad isn’t practical as we all know by now, but is he like a box of frogs and is that worse or better than being as Mad as a Hatter? Mummy said that sometimes Dad with his akkademik Asbeeness made him look quite silly! She began to tell me things that Dad never knew that she was quite surprised at. [Considering he is supposed to be quite smart, you know what l mean?]
1] He didn’t know that frogs could run and walk on their legs like two leggeds!!
2] He didn’t know that swans could fly!!
3] He didn’t know that cows could run!! [Remember the cow story??]
4] He didn’t know that if it was grey sky above that it was blue sky above that??!!
Now admittedly Mummy says these are things that Dad didn’t used to know, but apparently he does now, she says next time he calls me as Mad as a Hatter, l should remind him of some of these little snippets!!
“Oh Dad, can swans fly??”
Anyway, there is an easier option, you decide if l am as Mad as a Hatter or not, ok? Let me know!
Helicopter tail in full swing!!
Until the next time…
Tootle pip from Doodlepip!
Exploring is my middle name!!